Abstaining from the Madness

I had planned to post a review of BBC's Emma today (actually, more of a "na-na-na-na-na, I knew I'd like the Gwyneth Paltrow version better" taunt =), but, after reading an article on Visionary Daughters, had to pass it on before moving into more superficial subjects.

Once you see the title of the article, you might echo the same sentiments that a soft-core Twilight fan uttered to me the other day regarding the whirlwind success of New Moon ("Twilight is a superficial subject"). And, more than you know, you would be completely right.

I never could take the Twilight saga quite seriously --it's not the type of story that usually interests me. On the surface, it's simply the tale of impetuous young romance, a Romeo and Juliet story about a lonely teenage girl who falls for with the most popular guy in her school. At it's core, it could be the plot of just about any youth romance novel, replete with inspiring themes like love and sacrifice. It's an age-old story, really.

Except for, oh, that's right --Edward Cullen is a vampire.

I love how the Botkin sisters handled the subject of emotional pornography in their article, "How Twilight is Re-Vamping Romance." If you have heard anything about the novel (and, if like most of us, you've heard a lot about the novel), I would most definitely recommend taking a trip over to Visionary Daughters. Having done some in-depth research on the topic myself (it's what I do =), I had some thoughts of my own to share.

I have written about unattainable standards of perfection again and again, but I think the Cullen clan takes the cake; Mr. Knightley may be the consummate gentleman, but, after all, he's only human. "Devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful" as Stephenie Meyer describes the Cullen clan in her first novel, he is not. The best thing about this perfectly devastatingly beautiful and invincible super human being?

He's never wanted anything in the world more than he wants Bella Swan. This perfect, god-like creature with the impenetrable defenses has been lured by the unlikeliest of baits: an average teenage girl, someone most of us can easily identify with.

In New Moon, on page 65, Meyer describes the contrast through Bella's eyes:

"The contrast between the two of us was painful. He looked like a god. I looked very average, even for a human, almost shamefully plain."

What could be more romantic for women across America than to curl up in bed, inclined towards the soft glow of a lamp, being transported into the dreary town of Forks, Washington, seeing life through Bella's eyes, and realizing that Edward Cullen is in love with you? And we're not talking a "Hey, do you want to go catch a movie this weekend?" crush here; we're talking complete and total obsession, an ardent, unmatched devotion, a strong sense of ownership and protection, and an undeniable desire. Add in the equally enamored Jacob Black, werewolf, and his play for Bella's affections and, well --

It's intense.

And fans joke about being obsessed --but a cautious observer knows that the obsession is all too real.

Never mind the supernatural aspects oft he book, like the vampires, werewolves, and other folklore. Let's, perhaps, even forget about the disconnected parents, their withdrawn daughter, or her superficial friends. Let's focus on the fact that in this fictional world, these two characters have given themselves wholly to one another; one is a vampire who's got nothing to lose --the other is a young woman with her whole life ahead of her, whose decided to invest it in a path that leads to damnation (literally) for the love of a beautiful man. The ongoing tension in the series -Edward's desire for Bella to live a normal life, Bella's desire to spend an eternity with her immortal beloved -is hardly a cliffhanger; who doesn't know that Bella will break down Edward's defenses, and that they'll end up together in vampiric paradise? Oh... well, sorry for ruining the ending for you there.

But even though we guessed the ending, we've got to read the next page, just to make sure it all comes to fruition.

One of the "hallmarks" that has been spouted by ardent supporters of Twilight is that it teaches a lesson of abstinence. But, even though Edward and Bella do abstain in the most basic sense of the word, their relationship is filled with hands-on passion: lengthy embraces; breathless kisses; violent declarations of devotion. He sleeps in her bedroom every night. She sits in his lap when she needs comfort. The list goes on. They are obsessed with one another. "Abstinent" they may be --pure they are not. And as Bella and Edward's intimacy increases, despite continued warnings that the relationship is no good for either of them --

We watch with bated breath, crafting an obsession of our own.

As daughters committed to emotional purity, we watch as Bella Swan gives her heart and soul to Edward Cullen, and he gives eternity to her --and we celebrate the exchange.

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. ~Song of Solomon 8:4

As we watch Bella awaken dangerous desires -as we watch her willing to give herself completely to the one she loves (uttering, again from New Moon, page 69, "I don't care! You can have my soul! I don't want it without you -it's yours!") --we give ourselves to a fantasy that can never fulfill us. We invest ourselves in another person's romance --and the romance isn't even real.

The movies are the icing on the cake. The actors could have been Vogue models (and, perhaps, if their acting careers fizzle after roles that require little else besides being "excruciatingly beautiful" and attractively brooding, we'll see them on the runways). As a Jane Austen fan who thrills to hear that a new adaption is coming out, I can somewhat understand how Twi-hard fans are crowding theaters across America, breaking records and feeding their obsession.

But what happens when it's all over? When Mrs. Meyer has penned the last increment in her whirlwind romance? When the last film has hit the shelves of your local Blockbuster? When you're lying in bed at night without the warm glow of the lamp and the velvety voice of Edward Cullen dancing through your mind as you read the words you long to hear:

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars -points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." ~New Moon, Chapter 23, page 514

If Edward describes Bella as his own personal brand of heroine --we may definitely be guilty of sticking Twilight on the whole in that very same category.

While I know that levels of obsession vary among the Twi-hards, and that some people are mature enough to read the books without developing an obsession at all (and please, please, before you flood my comment box with defenses, know that I'm not lumping all Twilight fans in the same obsessive category)--may I offer the first step of Twilight rehab for those of you who are itching for an Edward Cullen fix?

I think the words of Psalm 139 are far more beautiful than any that Stephanie Meyer could ever pen.

Turn to the Lord of the universe, by whom you are perfectly known and loved. He is the ultimate Protector and Defender -he sent his son to die for you (Hebrews 9:12-15). He loves you in spite of your faults, and sees you as something more than simply "average" -he made you (Psalm 139:14-15). He knows you better than you know yourself (Psalm 139:1-4). We are his children -we belong to him. We can place our loyalty and trust in him without fear.

The man we're looking for won't be obsessed with us; he'll be "obsessed" with the Lord. And his love for us will pale in comparison to his love for the Lord and the things of the Lord. If he's the right man, he will be careful with our heart --he will only ask for it when he can give his fully in return, in the beautiful confines of a godly marriage. And our guiding focus won't be a hedonistic passion for one another --but an all-consuming passion for Christ. Our life's focus won't be on each other -though I know we'll love each other dearly -it will be on kingdom work.

Thank you very much, but you can keep Edward Cullen. I'll take a passionate follower of the risen Lord all day every day. And I'll save my heart -from flesh and blood distractions and fairy tale notions -for the one whose soul belongs to the Lord. He won't be "excruciatingly beautiful," "god-like," and "perfect" --but he'll be a living, breathing being who loves me -not Bella Swan.