... Do you realize how much of your ideas of a good Christian life for young women depend on having... stable Christian parents?Most young women (even some [with] Christian parents) are not going to be allowed to remain home past high school unless they have a job or are in school [and] maybe not even then. Most of us are going to be lucky to find a Christian guy, much less try and to a courtship.I'm sure you believe it's possible to be a Christian young lady without having encouraging parents, but so much of it is impossible for us in different situations.
That was an anonymous comment I received on "The Trouble With Thoughts Is..." (which is still racking up some very wise comments). It's a sentiment I've heard before, from friends, relatives, and strangers. In the world we live in, when we talk about the important role that our parents play in our discipleship, the words are bound to come up. Because of the tide of our culture -the disarray of the average home -while a vision for biblical family life can be incredibly encouraging and uplifting to some, it can be bittersweet for others.
What do we do to those who say, "Yes, I agree with you that your understanding of biblical family life is sound --but it only works with perfect people."
Well, before I ask your thoughts, I'll share my own.
I grew up in a stable Christian environment because my parents -who were not afforded that environment in their childhood -purposed to provide it for my brothers and I. They have built our lives around the Word of God, and have guided our focus towards the ultimate goal of glorifying the King of Kings. Because I know what the Lord has allowed Mama and Daddy to overcome to get to this point, I'm even more grateful for the godly legacy they're providing for me, and the legacy I'll be able to provide for my children someday, Lord willing. Are we perfect? No. But we're constantly reforming and redirecting our focus, making sure it's always on the Lord.
Multigenerational faithfulness is a blessing of a concept --but we have to realize that multigenerational faithfulness has to start somewhere. If not with your grandparents, it has to start with your parents. If not with your parents --it has to start with you. Because if you don't purpose to instill a legacy of faith into your children, they will come to the same place as the anonymous commenter above, and to the same place as other young women floundering for lack of a biblical home environment to flourish in.
The first step to embracing a biblical standard for family life may not be growing up in a home where your father was the loving shepherd of your family, who instilled the Word of God in you and your siblings from a young age; where your mother was your father's faithful helpmeet, who exemplified biblical womanhood for you day-by-day, through her care for your family; where you were encouraged to develop strong relationships with your siblings, to encourage them in the faith. The first step may be coming to a point -looking around at your broken home -and acknowledging that things are not right. That your situation -whether a floundering status quo or a fractured, harmful environment -is not ideal.
In doing so, we can grasp a vision that is so much bigger than the here and now. For multigenerational faithfulness to start in our future homes, we need to purpose right now to be the mothers and the wives that the Lord has called us to be. For those of us with fractured families, this may mean being the mother to our daughters that we didn't have, or the wives to our husbands that our mothers weren't to our fathers. It may be refusing to settle for a man who cannot be the father to your children that you wanted your father to be to you.
A call for strong, biblical families doesn't just hit the ears of fathers and mothers who can exact change in their own homes. It is also heard by sons from broken families, and daughters from indifferent homes. The call can not always be enacted right away by a husband who takes it upon himself to provide servant leadership for his wife; sometimes, the call burns in the hearts of women with husbands who are afraid to take that first step of leadership. Sometimes, we can't throw ourselves into a biblical pattern; sometimes, we have to wait.
Young women who are coming at this from different family situations are in no way inferior to young women who have been protected, sheltered, and nurtured in a strong family environment. But if we don't acknowledge that a home that does not provide this environment is not ideal, we will never be able to begin anew, and to encourage a godly legacy for our own children. Can the Lord work in less than ideal circumstances? Of course he can. He always does --even the most stable Christian homes are less than perfect. However, the Bible does have specific standards for biblical family life, and we can strive for them no matter where we come from.
So what's a girl to do while she's waiting?
Well, there is definitely some practical advice regarding the subject, but, for that, I look forward to hearing from you all. Part of the reason I was hesitant to write a post like this is because I do come from a stable Christian home, and don't want to appear as if I have all of the answers --the truth is, I don't. Every situation is different, and I can't provide ten easy steps to Christian family life that are going to "work" for everyone. What I can do is to provide biblical encouragement and advice. I do hope that if any of you have practical advice or an encouraging testimony to offer, I know it would be very helpful to many young women reading today.
As has become the custom around here, I might share some of my own thoughts later this week. =) I do hope that you will comment, whatever family background you come from, and offer advice and encouragement for young women who may be reading from a different perspective, and may need encouragement.
24 thoughts shared:
My parents aren't Christians. They laughed at me when I told them I'd like their insight and wisdom when it comes time to decide on a spouse. I told them that they know me better than I know myself, and they could help me from being overly emotional and sentimental in making that decision. It's a foreign concept for them, but I intend to involve them and share my heart with them.
In many areas pertaining to growing in maturity as a disciple of the Lord, I've had to basically implement the PRINCIPLES without having the perfect environment. I've pursued learning the domestic skills that I was not taught growing up; sometimes from my mother, sometimes from other christian ladies in my church setting, and sometimes just from a book from the library and a little sense of risk & adventure. :) I think having good examples around me is important. I've pursued mentors for accountability and wisdom. I've even lived with other families for a while to grow in learning submission, learning how to serve and encourage the siblings, and learning to be a keeper of the home. I still do everything I can to honor my parents and build our relationship, even though they do not think it's fitting for me to still be home at my age. They want to see independence and financial success in my life. So I've chosen to give up my pursuit of "career" and gain some skills of having a self-employed home business. I've chosen to spend more time preparing myself for being a wife and a mother with whatever resources I have available to me, recognizing that my life is not about gaining something for myself, but being a yielded vessel to the Lord so that I may serve others. I spend time around families who have the same goals and vision.
I may not have the same pretty package that others do, but I can always unpack it a few layers to see what the underlying principles are in the Word of God, and do whatever I can to grow in character and put myself around people who will help. There's no sense in me whining about what I don't have. The Lord knew that beforehand, and has prepared me for my lot in life. He is a God of restoration. I've learned to appreciate all the opportunities around me, and pray for my parents and hope that they see the satisfaction I have with the things of God.
I often think of the verse in 2 Peter 1:3 that says that we've been given everything that pertains to life and godliness. Also, Psalm 68:6 says that God sets the solitary in families. I've been very blessed even though I don't come from the same situation that Jasmine has. It's what we set our hearts to that makes us so similar. :)
Great post, Jasmine. I so appreciate your sensitivity to the diverse crowd of readers on her.
A young woman from a far-from-ideal family situation has started attending our church. The church seems to love having someone to take care of. Members make sure she has a ride to all events; our 13 year olds are assigned a spiritual mentor from among the older members and "Jane" was given an especially wise woman to mentor her.
In my experience, churches love to help but the "helpee" has to make that first step. Show up, show a willingness to make a commitment and if the church is making any attempt to take the Gospel seriously, people will line up with support and encouragement.
well said! There is no doubt that the love of Christ flows through you. it is a blessing to read such a kind, compassionate and biblically sound response to a very difficult question. thank you! Blessings, Mrs. Key
What a blessing Christian parents are. I was blessed to hear from other sisters on previous posts who do not have this in their lives. It makes me more grateful for this great priviledge we girls have who do have parents who care for our well-being. May Christ lead each of you who are struggling with this.
Wow. Thank you for your keen insight and sensitivity to those of us who are forging a new path in circumstances far diiferent to what most stay at home daughters will ever know.
And thank you for standing up for the Bible way of forgetting what is behind and pressing forward into and for Christ. I would hate being a perpetual casualty, in both my upbringing and experience, of Biblical womanhood.As it is, I'm a career girl and one who intends to excel at it. Never ignoring the fact that if the Lord so chooses to bless me, I desire to be my love's helpmeet and homeschooling mother to my many children. Raising them to do the same, only more faithfully and more in love with God than their parents before them, at every stage of their life.
God bless you Miss Baucham. Right there at home, your life echoes the Father heart of God for the lost, even IN the Church.
Iyana
Thank you Jasmine! This was really good. I have a question:
Do you ever find yourself reading sites like the Rebelution, Visionary Daughters, and other Christian girls' blogs, and being really inspired - yet being on them too often? I love reading your blog, as well as the ones mentioned above, but I sit reading them in the time I could be using to get up and DO what they're talking about, and helping my mom (like taking care of the dishes that need washed, lunch...) Do you have any advice on this?
Jasmine,
I was so blessed by your post, and by the young woman who left the comment that sparked this discussion. But I think I was most especially humbled and encouraged by the comment Lauren Blesser left.
Nothing is to hard for God, He never gives us principles/commands that He doesn't give us the strength to follow through with and I think Lauren's comment was a testimony to that.
May God strengthen young women who find themselves in such unideal circumstances to trust Him to be faithful!
~Monique
The following is what I said in response to anonymous on the thread on which she commented. I wanted to repost it here, in the hopes that it would be a great blessing and hopefully, help, to those who may read it.
Anonymous,
Your comments have pricked my heart, and I feel led to share with you a bit of my story, in the hopes that it serves as an encouragement to you.
I'm sure you've heard that all things are possible with God. Let me assure you-from experiece-that that is so true!
It was not until the end of 2006 that my parents and I came to embrace Biblical family life. Until then, we had been blinded by worldly teaching. We were-unknowingly!-very feministic and worldly in our thinking and in the way we lived our lives. We are still by no means perfect and have a ways to go (as all families do!), but God has reformed us in so many wonderful, gracious ways.
My parents were fine with me dating one day-the household rule was simply that I had to be 16 before I could date. When I was 13(in early '06 before God changed us), the rule changed. Now, they said I could date, but only once I was in my senior year of high school. I did not come from a family that pressed the importance of keeping your heart pure, either. They instilled into me the importance of being physically pure, but the subject of emotional purity never came up. I went from crush to crush to crush from age 6 to around 15, and gave pieces of my heart to each boy. My relationship with the Lord was anything but healthy. The various young men I "loved" were taking the #1 place in my heart and God was shoved on down the list. By His amazing grace, He grabbed ahold of my heart and the hearts of my parents and changed our thinking. Now, my Daddy is dedicated to protecting me-body, mind and heart. He joyfully embraces courtship and tells me that any young man who may one day desire to have my hand in marriage will have to go through him, my proector, first. I get chills when I dwell on just how much the Lord has changed my Daddy. He went from a nonchalant "buddy" who asked me questions such as "What boy do you like right now?", "Do you think _____ is cute?", "Did you see him looking at you?", etc., to a man who diligently gaurds me and protects me from all that would strive to destroy my purity. He wants to present me to my husband one day as a pure and virtuous maiden. But this is not how my father was for the first 14 years of my life! Dear anonymous, take heart! Satan wants to destroy you, steal your joy, and make you think that all things are not possible with God, and that your current situation is hopeless. But, it just isn't so! Your situation is by no means hopeless-who knows what the Lord may do in your life in the next few months or years! He may radically reform your parents!
Even if He doesn't make your situation much better, please do not despair! As Jasmine said, courtship is oh so possible in less than perfect situations. For one thing, nobody's situation is absolutely perfect- we live in a sinful, imperfect world! But our God works through imperfect circumstances. In their wonderful book So Much More, the Botkin sisters relate the story of Sarah, a young woman whose parents were divorced. She no doubt fealt at times that a courtship would be impossible in her situation. But it wasn't! She entered into a wonderful, pure, delightful courtship which led to her marriage! So, you see, courtship is possible even in your situation! God brings good out of bad situations! His ways and thoughts are not ours-they are far above ours. He can bring about miracles in seemingly terrible situations.
P.S. There are is a great and growing number of solidly, Biblical Christian young men out there. I have the priviledge of knowing some of them, while just know of many others. They do exist! As Jasmine's dear father said at this year's Vision Forum father daughter retreat, "If God could get Adam a wife when there were no women, just think of what He can do for you!" :)
I come from a less than perfect family who has been wonderfully changed in so many ways, and who still has a ways to go in the sanctification and reform area. I'm being beckoned to lunch, so will share my testimony as soon as possible. This is a subject very dear to my heart, as I know the exasperation that comes with living in a less than perfect situation. God is so very good, and I look forward to sharing with all of you what I've learned, what my gracious Savior has done, along with some advice I would give to those who find themselves in the same situation I was in.
God bless you, and I'll be back later!
I would like to offer a word of encouragement for girls in this situation. It is not who your parents are or what they did or did not do that will matter. It is who Christ is and what He did.
Those who He calls He equips. If you have been called to be His child He will fully equip you to be a wonderful woman of God. I think Jasmine's beautiful parents are an example of this.
Don't forget throughout the Bible the Lord chose the most unlikely people from the most humble and horrible backgrounds to do the most amazing things.
Our Lord says His strength is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9. He also says His grace is sufficient.
Often I think we put way too much emphasis on our earthly circumstances and not enough on the awesome power of God. All of our works are like filthy rags and while we Christian parents are commanded to raise our children in a godly manner we do so out of obedience knowing it is Christ who does the work of salvation. He can choose to work through us or not.
Just like Jasmine's father was called out of an unbelieving family so there have been children born to godly Christian families who have chosen another path.
Let us give credit where credit is due. It matters not the circumstancs of our birth, who are parents are or what they did or did not do. All that matters is Christ and Him crucified and who you are in Him.
Lauren & Mrs. Henderson,
I think the "prize" goes to you two for the best responses. ;-) I can't imagine that any young woman in "Anonymous's" position would not be incredibly blessed and encouraged by your words --thank you so much sharing them. =)
I agree. A godly legacy was not begun with my grandparents and very little by one of my parents. Neither did my husband have an ideal Christian home in which he was raised. Having this background creates unique trials for the two of us, my husband and I, come together seeking to create a Biblically based home where Christ is the center. All I can say is that God's grace is sufficient when the two submit fully to the authority, inerrancy and sufficiency of God's Word, in letter and intent.
Grace to you.
Jasmine,
I am a little frustrated that you decided not to post my comment on the last posting. I realize that I may have sounded hard-nosed, but looking at your comments, it seems that you only post comments of individuals that are head-over-heals in love with your blog...and who think you are so wise and all that. You are a young woman who has been given much in the way of teaching, material blessing, various experiences, and a wonderful loving homelife, and that is great! But not everyone is seeing life through your lenses, and some of your posts have (I think) a tone that is a bit spoiled and taking your situation for granted, perhaps not realizing how blessed you are. While others who are struggling with real difficulty that you may have never lived through even an inkling of, are saying, "My goodness, is that all she is concerned about??Sheesh! I wish that I only had to worry about that!" (that meaning some insignificant thing). Perhaps I sounded bitter or angry, and for this I apologize. Overall I have enjoyed your blog very much, and I am in early pregnancy sick stage, and very emotional--little things have been setting me off lately. If I have offended you, it was not my intention--my intention was however, to inspire you to be a bit more thankful and a little less blind to the hardships of others who live differently from you.
Sincerely
Laura Ayars
claybyfaith@yahoo.com
Lauren Bleser - thank you so much for your testimony. It was absolutely beautiful. Blessings to you!
Hi Laura,
I'm sorry, but I don't know which comment you're referring to. I post just about every comment I receive (save the occasional flaming anonymous sort), so you don't have to look far not to find comments from people who aren't head over heels in love with me. ;-) And if you'd like to find sone really vitrolic commentary, follow some of the incoming links to my blog every once in a while. ;-) If you wrote a comment that hasn't shown up yet, it's most likely do to some malfunction with Blogger --I'm very sorry, and want you to know that you're welcome to try and repost it.
I don't think it's fair to "blame" me for growing up in a strong Christian environment. I didn't choose my family --the Lord did. By his providential grace, I was born into a family that loves him. I thank him for it daily (although I know I don't thank him for it enough). The blessing has been magnified as each of my four youngest brothers has been adopted, plucked from less than ideal circumstance, providentially placed into our home, and woven into our family legacy. We are not perfect people. =) But we do love the Lord. And I'm grateful for the love he's given us for him, and hope I'm a young woman who can give that love to others.
I am incredibely blessed by them, and have ample opportunity to be reminded of how rare my situation is by spending time, as I have shared, with extended family whose lifestyles are incredibely different from ours. Also, as Mrs. Henderson alluded above, my parents' beginnings were far from ideal --they constantly remind us of God's grace in their lives. Despite the unkind tone of your comment, I will endeavor not to appear spoiled (although, in some senses, I definitely am, and I admit that =). I will try even harder to be sensitive of young women who have grown up in a different environment (which was, ironically, the point of this post =). And I will try not to seem unaware of all of the blessings the Lord has bestowed on me, as I will also try not to come off as living a utopian life.
I have hardships, as does everyone else --despite what assumptions some may make, none of us lives a carefree life. None of us has arrived to a state of perfection, and the Lord is constantly sanctifying us. Though the things I struggle with may seem insignificant to you, the same God who bears with you in your struggles bears with me in my own.
I write what I know. There are others who have lived through hardships I have never experienced, and I hesitate to speak to those issues exactly because of the way I've been raised --I don't want to come off as a know-it-all. I'm a young lady who's grown up in a Christian home; that's the perspective I wrote from, and my posts will all have that flavor. It's who I am. If you want a different point of view, perhaps you should read a different blog, written by someone from a different background.
If you choose to bear with me, please know that I was very hurt by your words this evening, as I strive to communicate in a way that would prove them untrue, and that I will try to strive even harder in the future.
~~
Thank you for sharing~ Jasmine!
Fabulous painting again. ;)
Love~ Jen
Jasmine, I appreciated your kind tone in response to Laura Ayers. One thing I appreciate about you is that you DO write "what you know" and "who you are". It WOULD be prideful of you to address things you know nothing about, and your tone of innocence and appreciation is something that appeals to most of your readers. Please turn that hurt you feel over to the Lord. It was her problem (and even seemed to come from a 'miscommunication/technical malfunction') not YOUR problem.
Lauren Bleser,
Your comment really blessed me! Your example of honoring your parents, trusting in the Lord, and pursuing and standing firm upon His Will and commands was so refreshing. You are also a living, productive example of what I will be speaking on towards the end of my current stay-at-home daughterhood series: if your parents are not supportive and no longer want you under their roof, you may need to seek out another godly family who would be willing to take you in. Would you mind if I quoted you in my series? Would you even possibly be willing to write a brief article to be posted in my series, giving your testimony and sharing encouragement with other young women who may be in your situation?
If so, please e-mail me: living_for_my_Lords_glory@hotmail.com
Keep being a shining light! :)
God bless you!
~~~~~~~~~
Laura Ayers,
I can stand by the fact that at times Blogger does not send comments through in a timely manner. I left a comment on Jasmine's Consciousness post Saturday that did not show up until yesterday evening. For one reason or another, it apparently did not show up automatically in her inbox. So, please bear with her! :) Blogger can be finicky at times!
~~~~~~~~
Jasmine,
I so appreciate your humility in responding to Mrs. Ayers. That was a blessing to behold. Keep up the great work!
The Lord began to slowly work on my Daddy's heart, however. He led us to move here to Tennessee in January 2005. Around that time, He was showing my Daddy the truth of the Doctrines of Grace (Reformed theology). In the fall of 2006, Daddy led us to become a part of a new Reformed Bible study that was meeting with the intention of incorporating into a church. I was miserable, because Daddy wanted us to join this new church once it started and to leave our old one (where I was, unfortunately, heavily involved in the youth group). The church (www.christschurchofchattanooga.com) began in December of '06, and we joined. We were meeting in the home of a family who ran a bookstore out of their home. This bookstore sold many Vision Forum materials. That Christmas, I received So Much More, and became introduced to other materials put out by VF. My father did, as well, and began to realize his error in the leading (or lack thereof!) of his family. He began to desire to lead us in family worship. However, it took him almost a year and a half to actually initiate our doing so, as he (due to a lack of example growing up) has had trouble with leading and initiating things all his life. He finally began to lead us in family worship (which, for us at that time, consisted of just Bible reading). He then began to lead us in memorizing the Scriptures and reading Lamplighter books together. In January of 2007 (I'm back-tracking a bit now with my story!), he asked me if I would like to go with him to the VF father daughter retreat. I told him I would! The ride there was somewhat quiet and uncomfortable for me, as I was not used to spending this much time alone with Daddy and his undivided attention. But I was SO excited and in awe of the change taking place in him. This is what I was beginning to hunger and thirst for. That year, he told me that he had made the committment to take me to the retreat each and every year until he gave me in marriage (unless one of us was sick, etc.). I was so amazed, excited, overjoyed, and thankful. My Daddy was taking an interest in shepherding my heart, directing me, fully protecting and leading me, caring for and providing for me, etc. He no longer was the distant, entertainment only minded father I had known for 14 years. Now, the Lord was fashioning him into a more diligent, visionary father, husband and leader. Is he perfect? By no means. There are times when he still struggles, no doubt. There are even times (that are way more common than they should be, I'm ashamed to say!) when I think, "Why can't he be more visionary? Why does he have to watch that football game all night with my brother instead of actively training him??" I get so exasperated at times. But it's in those times when I remember just how far Daddy's come and just how much he's changed. He now takes an active part in my life, for example, pointing out to me areas where I need to improve. Just the other week he came up with something else to go over in our family worship time. He wants us to study the 2000 Baptist Faith and Message and really dig into it. He's becoming more of a trainer of his children, and while he has a ways to go, I'm honored, thrilled, and so blessed to be his daughter. Our God is so great, and performs miracles every day. He is a God with Whom all things are possible. If he can change my father, he can change yours, as well! Take heart, dear sister! God knows where you are and what you need, and will never leave you nor forsake you!
So sorry for just now coming back to continue on with my testimony, etc.! Lunch yesterday led to errands, which led to dinner, which led to family time. :)
My great-grandfather on my father's side was a very meek, submissive man with a very domineering, overbearing, authoritative wife. He never "put his foot down" or attempted to lead, as far as I know, and so did not provide my grandfather with an example of Biblical manhood and leadership. Therefore, my grandfather grew up without knowing what it meant to be a godly, visionary, multi-generational minded father, leader and husband. Because of this, my father grew up with an almost absentee father. He was in the home, but worked much more than he had to or should have, did nothing to train up his sons, watched tv or read most of the night, and never sought to provide an example to my father and uncle of Biblical manhood. Therefore, my father learned nothing in the area of visionary, multi-generational faithfulness. For the first 14 or so years of my life, my father was more of my buddy than anything. He was home at night, but was somewhat of an absentee father himself at times. We had no conversations really on things above. He would come home, read the paper, turn on the tv, eat dinner, and then chill out. No family worship, no meaningful conversation, nothing. I, therefore, was closer to my mother and friends. Don't get me wrong-I was a Daddy's girl and adored him, but did not confide in him or talk over issues that were on my mind and in my heart with him. I spent more time talking on the phone, e-mailing, reading, and watching tv than anything else, at night. I, however, did not know something better existed. I had never been exposed to a visionary father before in my life. None of my friends had one; I hadn't even heard of one before! So I was content with my father just the way he was. Sure, I wanted more meaningful conversation with him and more input from him in my life, but I wasn't seeking that out from him (because, for one thing, it would have been uncomfortable for me to do so, since this was not the norm or a regular everyday occurance).
I happen to be one of those women who grew up in a MUCH different environment than Jasmine. I was expected to go to college, to work, prove my financial security - all to fall into the world's trappings of sinfulness and self-absorption. I am now a stay at home mother and homeschooling mom to two boys. I could be a poster child of a woman that Christ is using despite her background. Jasmine's blog is an encouragement not only to young girls out there, but also to us mothers that may be learning for the first time in our own homes, what a Christian household should be.
7. Live differently!
If all you do is speak about your beliefs, but don't live like you actually do believe them, it will turn your parents off. Show them that you really have been changed by God's Word. A godly example can work wonders on the hearts of unbelievers.
8. Bless them.
Be a blessing to them even when you don't feel like it. There have been times when I've SO wanted my father to be more multi-generational in his thinking and living, and have been cold to him as a result. This was sinful on my part and did not help matters or encourage him any. Ask your parents if there are ways you can pray for them or encourage them.
9. Change residences.
When it all comes down to it, sometimes our example and conversations are still not enough to cause our parents to change (only God can bring about that change, really!). They may not see the wisdom in stay-at-home daughterhood, for example. If this is the case, you may need to seek out another Christian family to take you in, as Lauren did. Living in a godly, visionary family like this can help so much. If you are removed into another home, though, do not abandon your parents!
I'll be addressing more of this on my blog near the end of my current article series on stay-at-home daughterhood. I hope what I shared has been helpful to you all. Please don't lose hope or become exasperated, but trust in God and diligently obey Him. Delight yourself in Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart. As Jasmine said, the first step in creating a multi-generational legacy of faithfulness is realizing that your family has a problem, and then going in to fix it. Even if a miracle does not occur in your current family, commit to the Lord your future and dedicate to marrying a man who is visionary and who will be a godly leader in your household. You can be the beginning of a wonderful family legacy! :)
As for my advice on what a young woman should do when she desires a Biblical, multi-generational legacy of faithfulness when her parents do not, here goes.
1. STUDY, STUDY STUDY!
Study God's Word! Become well versed in it, that you may be able to defend your Biblical worldview with solid, Christian, true answers from the Lord. If you attempt to share with your parents and others your beliefs, but can't even defend them articuately with Scripture, you probably aren't going to get anywhere. There's one thing I've learned-others can't do it for you! Reading Biblical blogs is great, but when it comes down to it, you have to search out the Scriptures for yourself. Be ready in season and out of season to give a reason for your beliefs.
2. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!
Cry out to God! Make your pleas known; cast your cares upon Him-He cares for you and desires greatly to hear from you! Ask Him to, if it be His will, open your parents' eyes to the truths of God's Word, and to give to them a solidly Biblical worldview. Prayer is powerful, and with God all things are possible. Stay on your knees daily, crying out for the Lord to work on your parents and to use you in their lives.
3. Present to your parents God's truths.
Share with them your beliefs! They won't acquire them through osmosis; you must speak with them about them. And be sure to be ready to defend them. Be in prayer prior to sharing with your parents. Ask the Lord to give you calmness, patience, strength, love and boldness. I have been way too emotional in the past when dealing with an extended family member and trying to share with them God's truths. The issue was that I had not been on my knees prior to my time of sharing. I was relying on my own strength, and so was weak in the knees, to say the least. That's not to say that you still won't have butterflies when expressing your beliefs, but things will be a lot easier when you realize that God's on your side and is right there to help you!
4. Have an older, wiser Christian share with them.
You may need to have someone older sit down with them and share Biblical truths with them. This person may have more of an influence on them than you will.
5. Give them books, tapes, etc. on Biblical family life.
Give them gifts of books and other materials which express God's Word in a clear, articulate, easy to understand fashion.
6. Honor and respect them.
Don't always hound them with your beliefs. You may become as the woman in Proverbs who was likened to a continual dripping, like that of a leaky faucet. Know when to be quiet and when to speak. When speaking and defending God's Word, do so in a loving, honoring, respectful fashion. Ask for their thoughts, etc. Let them know you value them even if you don't agree with them. Have an attitude of submissive honor. Don't be threatening when you voice your stances. Perhaps even bring up a subject by saying, "I was studying _____ today. Would you like to hear about what I've learned?"
Oh dear. I don't know how my comments got so out of order like that!
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