When I was around eight, I decided that I was going to be a martyr when I grew up.
I had been reading Christian biographies, and just up and decided that I'd have one of my own someday. I would die doing something amazing for the cause of Christ. When I was ten, I decided I'd be a missionary's wife --the first one, who died in childbirth as soon as they reached foreign soil, the one whose name you can't remember because he got remarried and the second wife was the one that was married to him throughout most of his adventures. The first, nameless one -his first love -that was me.
Leave it to kid-me to turn suffering for the cause of Christ into a self-centered, romantic notion.
The self-centered romance was dispelled when, around sixteen, I read Foxe's Book of Martyrs. I had nightmares every night I read Foxe's, worst nightmares, even, than the ones that had driven my poor mother to beg me to stop reading my hefty collection of holocaust memoirs two years prior. They were healthy nightmares -they put some sting into my romance and reminded me that persecution is not an easy cross to bear -that a painful death is... well, painful, not just an adventurous notion that stayed mute on the pages of my books -that the heroes I'd grown up admiring were more heroes than I had ever imagined -and that if I was willing to die for the cause of Christ with their quiet faith, it would only be because he held my hand in the midst of the trials.
Matthew 5:10-12 says:
Blessed are those who are persecuted or righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
And 1 Peter 3:13-17 goes on to tell us how we should react in the face of this persecution:
Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.
When I read those verses, and when I reflect on the fact that some of the very people under the sound of Jesus' voice, and under the sound of his disciple Peter's voice suffered systematic persecution under the Roman empire -were gored by steers, fed to lions, crucified, set on fire -and when I understand that Christians across the world are subjected to grievous atrocities simply for mentioning the name of the God I serve... I realize something: I don't know persecution.
The worst "persecution" I've experienced regarding my beliefs has has come from unkind words or broken relationships. I don't think "persecution" is quite the right word for disagreement, unkindness, or even shunning: opposition is. And the difference may sound slight, but the thing is, although I don't like being mocked or misrepresented any more than the next person, words cannot keep me from living out my convictions --words can't make me a martyr unless I decide to play one. Opposition -from strangers blasting me on the internet to friends I've lost because it was just "too weird" that I didn't date (oh, yes) -only causes pain when I get wrapped up in myself and my feelings and my righteousness -the pain of persecution is inescapable. Luke 6:26 puts a different spin on harsh words. I don't necessarily endorse the "sticks and stones" adage: words hurt, but I've never actually had sticks and stones thrown at me for proclaiming the gospel.
When I hear American Christians throwing the word "persecution" around so haphazardly -when I'm tempted to use it myself -I have to stop and wonder: what is the miniscule amount of ridicule that I personally and the Christianity in America as a whole faces from day-to-day compared to what the Lord has called us to suffer for his namesake in the future? Are we who are so quick to defend ourselves against harsh words the same people who claim to be willing to die for our Lord and Savior?
Could you only give an answer when asked for it? Could you do so graciously? Could you weather criticism gracefully? Could you suffer for doing good? Could you suffer to the point of death?
Could I?
I may yet end up as a missionary wife ministering to a hostile unreached people group. I may face harsh persecution from our American government someday. I may be imprisoned because of my beliefs. I may have to die for them. The little pangs of the pride in my life dying a slow and painful death right now may be the Lord preparing me to lay down even more for him in the future.
While eight-year-old me wouldn't have found it quite as "romantic" to live out my convictions in typical American comfort, I don't think she quite understood how easy it can be for us soft-handed Americans to develop martyr complexes all our own. Persecution in the sense that Christians across the ages and even now, across the world, have to deal with is a foreign concept to me, at least in a tangible sense (in the sense that I pray for those who are truly persecuted, it is an ever-present reality). What I have to deal with is far less potent: all I have to do is to focus on the humility that will see me through 1 Peter 3:13-17.
I am so thankful that the sovereign King of the universe knows me better than any enemy could, and has more ammunition than any of them could ever fabricate... and chose us nonetheless, for his glory, and will strengthen us as we strive to live our lives with that goal in mind (Philippians 1:6).
Miraculous as it may seem.
"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58
26 thoughts shared:
... Reminds of the time several years ago, when my family had watched something that included footage of Korean Christians dying horrific deaths because they refused to deny Christ. That was the day my delusions about romantic martyrdom were destroyed. I admired those Christians so much; but went in tears to my parents later, because I wasn't sure that, if faced with what those Christians faced, I would be able to make the same choice: to gracefully embrace that lingering, painful death. My parents told me that, in the first place, if I thought I could do that easily, I was probably overestimating myself and underestimating the gravity of the situation. Secondly, there are many places in the Bible that speak of Christians being given the grace for certain situations at the time it is needed, and not a moment before.
Sorry for the long comment! :)
This is really good Jasmine!
It is a light 'suffering' we deal with as Christians here. It does hurt to lose friends and to be misunderstood, but it is nothing compared to what truly persecuted Christians go through.
I'll be sending my daughter's along to read this post today! Thanks for letting them know they are not alone on this 'stay at home daughter' path!
Amen Jasmine!! When my pastor reads from Voice of the Martyrs, my heart crumbles before God. All ideas of how strong a Christian I am fall away. Am I really as strong as they are? Would I really proclaim God's Truth while they beat and raped me, cut off my fingers or killed my children in front of me?
I had romantic notions as a child, too and some of them lingered into adulthood. It was romantic to be a victim, to have everyone fawn over you. I remember when I was around 18 and working in a woman's clothing store one of my coworkers looked at me in discust and said, "Stop being a martyr!" It pained me because that was how I was brought up. I thought it was socially acceptable. And it felt good to be self-centered and put myself on that burning pyre and let everyone see oh how much I bear....and still praise God afterwards.
Then real challenges came in my life. Real issues, though nothing like what our real martyrs face. These were and are challenges and difficulties God placed before me as a way to teach me to stop being a victim, stop being a self-appointed martyr and to put EVERYTHING before Him....and to allow others to help me. Obeying God in this has not only positively affected my life in every aspect, but others as well. And you know what? It isn't romantic at all. I want out! But I also want to be molded by our Heavenly Father.
Ore becomes a strong sword when beaten repeatedly and put through the fire. Branches grow better and bear more fruit when pruned. Clay must be kneaded and worked and spun around to become a pot. None of that is pleasant, but look at the end results!
Selah.
Thank you for the sobering post this morning...Did me good. Let us all remember if true persecution should ever rise - We can do all things threw Christ who strengthens us.
I once thought God was calling me to be a missionary when I was about eight years old. (Since then, I've been convicted that it would not be right for me to go out on the mission field with out my fathers, or someday, my husband's protection)
I always thought hard about what I would do if I were persecuted for my faith. I had read so many stories of people who had, and stayed strong in the Lord, and I wanted to be like them. (And still do!)
Wonderful post Jasmine!
Blessing,
Kelsey
Amen and amen! I am so gratfeul that you wrote this! I am sobered by the ongoing persecution of believers around the world and frightened by the American view of persecution. My prayer is that we would have hearts that value Christ above our live. Great blog with lots to meditate on!
This is awesome, Jasmine. I myself have been guilty of thinking I've been "persecuted." The reality is, the most difficult or hurtful thing I've ever had to endure is nothing compared to what countless Christians around the world have experienced. I hope that I wouldn't renounce Christ if placed in that situation. The truth is, I couldn't do it without His help. Hopefully, I'll never have to face something like that, but if I do, I want to die for the name of Christ. Thanks for the post!
I strive for and pray that if I was ever faced with the question of dying for Christ or living without Him, I would not even hesitate. But to think that their are people facing this today in other countries is very humbling.
Thank you for the reminder this Monday of what this week should really be about!
Yes, I went through a phase of reading World War II memoirs and ONLY WW II memoirs. :) And I also romanticized persecution. I come from a missionary family and they certainly have stories of God's marvelous protection to tell, but I never experienced such persecution. I almost wanted to.
Then came Foxe's and the whole dream vanished. It is disconcerting that 1) I had self-centered views of persecution and 2) when I realized how hard true persecution is, I did not want to have anything to do with it! How selfish!
Thank you, Jasmine, for reminding me of Who I ought to live for and that He will sustain me through whatever He wills in order to bring glory to His name.
sDg,
Jenn
P.S.Kate, those descriptions of what the Potter does to us to make us look like His masterpieces are beautiful and encouraging!
I need to keep true persecution ever before me--not so I can romanticize my experiences, but so I can pray for those being persecuted right now and be inspired by their faith and strength through Christ Jesus. Thanks for helping me do that, Jasmine!
This is good. I may have to read it more than once. Thanks for writing this. Holy Spirit inspired.
Thank you for giving us perspective!
A beautiful post on a very somber topic. My husband has been punched in the face a couple times for preaching on the street corner, but being shunned by a friend is the closest i have ever come to being "persecuted". I imagine myself being the type to make myself out to be a martyr so perhaps its a good thing for now however this article makes one think for sure.
in CHRIST
joyfulhelpmeet
Jasmine,
Thank you for this wonderful post! I really enjoy reading your wonderful insights. (Healthy nightmares - how hilarious!!) We were just talking about persecution this morning during family devotions, and how our silly, selfish "persecutions" are so little.
Thank you for the scripture verse, as well; it was good to be reminded that our labor is indeed not in vain!
Blessings,
~Annie~
At what a perfect time this post comes, Jasmine. After I graduated in December, my husband and I finally "got around" to focusing on and implementing spirituality in our lives and bringing them more in line with Scripture. In the process, our college buddies, family members, church brethren, all of them, have been confused, shocked, a bit put off, even angry and antagonistic. Some aren't speaking to us, some are a bit awkward, and some are choosing to ignore it. I've been "comforting" my poor self with verses like those you quoted, forgetting how good I have it.
I pray we will never have to live through what so many Christians live through for their faith, but I pray that if the time comes, we will bear up under it and bring honor and glory to our Savior.
I get Voice of the Martyrs magazine for the sole purpose of reminding myself that there are so many of *my* brothers and sisters dying for the faith around the world. I need that reminder so much, both so I can pray for them (VOM has a great prayer calendar) and to remind me not to be ashamed of the Gospel here in my safe, protected little world. If He is my everything like I say He is, my conversation should reflect that!
There is so little real, physical persecution going on in America, and I think that may be one reason why the "church" is so weak and watered-down. If our lives were at stake, there wouldn't be people sitting on the fence, trying to be "carnal Christians."
Thanks for this excellent reminder, Jasmine.
Kelsey :o)
Dear Anonymous,
Although your comments have been deleted as per your request, I wanted to take the time to say that I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I know *exactly* what you are going through, and have had to deal with similar trials in my life. Please know that this pots was in no way a response to your comments, rather, as most posts on this blog are, a response to some of my own personal musings on the subject.
I am so sorry for the trials your family is enduring, and pray for the peace that only our Savior can provide as he uses them to refine you for his glorious purposes.
Love in Christ,
Jasmine
Wonderful post.
I read Tortured For Christ for the first time this past week, and was very moved. To be honest, martyrdom is not a topic I have meditated on at length at any point in my life. Up till now that is! Very challenging. Thank you. :)
Great post Jasmine! Thank you for sharing!
Once my family and I watched a movie about severe persecution in China, when the movie was over I turned to my mom and told her that I wanted to be a missionary to China. I just thought it was interesting that a young girl would say that after watching what we did and your post reminded me of it.
This is a topic close to my heart. Some years ago, as a one-year old believer, a sister in Christ gave me a copy of "Shadow of the Almighty." Before that, the only martyrs I was aware of were those mentioned in the Bible. This was talking about more recent martyrs, and began stirring in me the desire to be one. That book led to many others on this topic (including Foxe's) and I becamed obsessed with the notion of dying for my faith. At the same time I was very frightened by the possibility of denying Christ and bringing Him shame.I remember talking about my hopes and fears to other believers. I will never forget hearing someone say, "Don't be so worried about dying for Christ. Be consumed with living for Him. Chances are, if you are whole-heartedly living for Him, you will most likely be ready to die for Him." So I am trying to keep my focus on living for Him. You are so right- we know nothing of persecution. Well, I better speak for myself. I know NOTHING of persecution. Have I been mocked, ridiculed, scorned? Yes. But not persecuted.
Glad to know I am not the only one who was OBSESSED about the holocaust and had nightmares about them (seems like I was looking out for myself in my dreams though because somehow I always survived :) That should really be a sad face not a smiley one). Mine was actually a three-way obsession: martyrs, the holocaust, and racial segregation. I remember the weird and worried looks I got from friends when my response to the question about my favorite movies including ones like, "Life is Beautiful", "Ruby Bridges", "Lady Jane"...etc. Come to think about it, they are still some of my favorites and those topics still interest me a lot; I am just not so obssessed about it as before. My prayer is that Christ will be my "Magnificient Obsession" like the title to the song I like to pray-sing.
Esther
Hi Jasmine! I just wanted to let you know that I saw you and your Dad on "Return of the Daughters". You are such an encouragement and an inspiration. That DVD touched my family in such a great way and what you and your Dad said made such an impact on us. I just wanted to thank you for following God's calling for young women in staying home and serving your father.
Blessings from a sister in Christ,
Grace
This was edifying, thank you!
I agree with Grace! I have seen you on Return of the Daughters too and it was very inspiring. So when I found you're blog, I was so excited!
Thsnks for the great post, Jasmine!
In Christ,
Sydeny
Hey this is Allie again I just wanted to let you know that I don't have a blog so clicking on my name wont do any good. I didn't understand the name stuff. (I still don't acctually)
Thank you,
Allie
Thank you SO SO SO much for posting this. It is very nice to know that there are other real girls out there who love the Lord--and aren't perfect. :)
Lovelovelove,
Laura
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