Joyfully Content

What would you do if I told you...

...that you would never marry?

Would your heart sink? Would you be angry? Would you feel that you had nothing to live for?

If your reaction fit into any of the above categories, would you admit it?

Would you change the way you're living your life? If you were living at home, would you go to college in search of a career? If you were at college, would you throw yourself into your career and ignore home life completely? If you've already got a career, would you become a workaholic so you'd have something to fill the empty spaces in your life? Do you have a backup plan "just in case" you don't get married? Are you living your single years as second best?

If someone asked you what your plans were for life ten years down the line, would you be able to formulate anything other than "I hope I'll be married by then..."

Something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately, and something I've been discussing with a handful of my unmarried friends, is the subject of singleness itself, and a growing concern we have with how so many singles seem to see marriage as the paradise that awaits us... and singleness as a purgatory that must be endured. I've had conversations with young women who unknowingly communicate that idea --I've been guilty of communicating it myself without meaning to.

And as I reflect on the attitudes that many young women have towards matrimony, I begin to worry about whether or not some of us are setting ourselves up for bitterness and disappointment the longer we must wait for marriage, not trusting in God's timing so much as gritting our teeth and bearing the single years as they pass by in a lonely blur. Something we would never want to consider would be the prospect that these "single years" aren't just indefinite -they're perpetual: some of us won't get married after all. What if that "lonely blur" happens to be the life that God has called us to? Will we still trust him?

I know my audience well enough to know that some of your knuckles are white right now, and your eyes are as big as saucers: Never married? Perish the thought! At the onset, I will say that very few things are as exciting to me as the prospect of being a link in the legacy of multigenerational faithfulness that my parents are striving to impart to my brothers and I by imparting it to my own children, and perhaps being able to impart it to my children's children. And, on a less multigenerational-minded level... I'm a hopeless romantic, too. But something I've been thinking about lately is that my dream of getting married -like all dreams in my life -should be held in open palms, not clenched fists; whatever my state, I need to be able to honestly pray, "Thy will be done." And if his will is that I remain single, the last thing I want to do is to forge habits of discontentment so early on in my life! And even if his will is that I get married someday, I want to spend these single years in a joyous pursuit of him, not matrimony.

Discontentment is not a unique ailment -many young women have asked me questions about how to keep our eyes focused on Christ during these single years; it's a question that I've asked myself. Because of the growing number of questions I have received, and because of a real concern I have for young ladies in my generation who have decided to turn their hearts towards their homes, I originally intended to write an article outlining some of the things I've learned about battling discontentment. However, because, with everything I had planned to say, the article would have turned out to be rather lengthy (yes, even for me!), I decided, instead, to turn that article into a series outlining at least six key areas that keep us from being joyfully single:

• A false view of marriage
• A false view of husbands
• A false view of singleness
• A false view of self
• A false view of God's sovereignty
• A false view of the bigger picture

I hope to publish the first article next week, and to flesh out the series in coming weeks. It is my prayer that, although, as I have admitted, I am far from flawless in any area of sanctification, I will be able to encourage other young women to strive for the joy that we've been called to exemplify in every season -the series will be called Joyfully Content. The title may sound a bit redundant to some, as joy is a facet of true contentment, which comes from Jesus Christ --but, given the title of my blog, I thought it had a nice ring to it: who ever complained about an extra dose of joy?

I'm going to start by asking you to answer (not necessarily in the comment section, but at least for yourself), the question I asked before:

What do you plan to be doing ten or fifteen years from now (and you aren't allowed to answer with, "I hope I'll be married by then.")? How do you plan to be joyously, contentedly, productively serving the Lord in 2020, should the Lord allow you to tarry? Will you tarry long if there isn't any husband in your future?

(All right, the last one was a bit of a joke.)

Also, at the onset of these articles, I want to say that I can take full credit for very little that I'm going to share here. My mother, other Titus 2 women in my life, and several wise friends (both male and female) have definitely been sounding boards over the past couple of months as I've pondered writing it. That being said, if there are any errors in the series, feel free to blame yours truly. If there's anything beneficial, though (and I hope there will be), my glorious wisdom is hardly the culprit (because I can't seem to put my finger on that glorious wisdom... where did I put it again?). This series is really just the result of a thousand different conversations I've had on the topic, conversations that have all driven me back to God's Word -I spend time around some pretty inspiring people.

I'm looking forward to starting on Monday!

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